…The Left Hand Path…

Warning: this document is intended for persons over the age of eighteen years of age only and does contain mental and subconscious triggers for those who have suffered from the Central Intelligence Agency’s Mk-Ultra Trauma Based Mind Control Projects.

This Journaled Memory is about the time that my family moved my older brother from Nampa, Idaho to Sandy, Utah which is just outside of Salt Lake City: the heartland of Mormonism. At that time, I was living near Stanley, Idaho outside of town in the woods with my future wife whom I had met that summer. I was to go to Nampa to help my family with my brother’s move to Utah. On this trip to Salt Lake, I was to meet with the Mormon officials, Thomas S. Monson as well as Henry B. Eyring as it had been planned by the church, the Central Intelligence Agency, Byrd, and my family that I would also be moving to Sandy Utah with my brother at the end of the summer so that I could be at the services of the church presidency and in particular Gordon B. Hinckley. In this meeting with Monson, he would discuss what he called the Left Hand Path, (Satanism) and how the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints provides a way for both the right and the left-hand paths of God. On this trip I would also see the young woman that I was engaged to marry through the Central Intelligence Agency, Byrd, and my family: i.e. it was intended that I was to be in an arranged marriage with Nicky Hilton, the girl who had hurt her ankle at the beginning of The Most Dangerous Game. I would see Nicky at the hotel which I was staying at in Salt Lake City with my parents and little brother, and I would be taken to a room at the hotel with Nicky and we were made to make a porn video together with two other individuals: a girl named Sunbeam, and a young man from my hometown of Nampa, Idaho named Jay Madison.

At the end of the month of May, in the year 1998 A.D. I moved out of my parent’s home in Nampa, Idaho and went to spend the summer living in a small mountain town in central Idaho called Stanley. This small mountain village is located at the base of the Sawtooth Mountain range and has access to some of Idaho’s most beautiful wilderness areas with an economy that is based mostly on recreational tourism. I had moved to Stanley with one of my good friends from my childhood. When I moved to Stanley I had little to my name with a bicycle for transportation, a guitar, an army pup tent and about thirty dollars in cash. At that time, I was recovering from a knee surgery I had on my right leg due to injuries I had sustained in a climbing accident. I had spent the weeks prior to my departure to Stanley living in the family room of my parent’s home recovering from the operation on my leg. On the day of the operation when my father got home from work, he moved my twin sized bed from my bedroom to the family room of the home so that I could be more comfortable in my recovery. But this also meant that it was much easier for him to abuse me at night when everyone else had gone to sleep in the house as the family room was at the opposite end of the home from the rest of the bedrooms. I can remember that my father would abuse me in the dark hours of the night there in the family room and it was all horribly painful to bear at the time it would occur, but my father would use hypnosis and hit me with a stun gun when he was done so I was never allowed to remember what was going on. I could not wait to move out of my parent’s house when I left for Stanley that summer, though I could not remember all of the reasons why.

It was a wonderful summer in the mountains and wilderness areas of Idaho that year and in my time there I would meet my future wife with whom I am still married to this day. I met her on my birthday, there in Stanley. On that day I was in town, and I had brought my guitar with me and had walked up to the city park and sat down on the top of the slide and began to just play my guitar in one of the most beautiful parks in the world, as there is a magnificent view of the Sawtooth mountains from the vantage of the top of the slide there. While I was playing my guitar two young ladies walked up the hill and sat down on the swings near me and I talked with them both for a while; one of them was named Kate and the other Kim; I would marry Kate as she is a wonderful woman, and I love her dearly to this day. Being not shy at that time in my life I asked them both if they might like to go to one of the local hot springs with me in the next few days to have a nice soak in the naturally hot water, to which they both agreed. It truly was a wonderful summer.

As the summer waned on more of our friends from the Boise Valley would move to Stanley as well, and after a time there was several of us living there together in the woods outside of town. We all had jobs, worked hard, and enjoyed our time in the wilderness being young. When I had days off from work I would at times go back down to the Boise Valley and visit with my family and friends. At that time, I could not remember that my parents were abusive, and I should stay away from them as I was never allowed to remember those things. On one of these trips back down to Nampa, I purchased a motorcycle that I used to get around Stanley and to travel back and forth to Nampa on my days off. As summer began to come to an end, I had to seriously think about what I was going to do that winter as Stanley is a harsh place to live in the winter and I had only planned on staying there for the summer months. But I had also fallen in love with Kate.

In the late spring/early summer I had talked with a friend of mine there in Nampa whose name was Greg. Greg was a couple of years older than me and came from a very large Mormon family with about seven or eight other siblings. I had talked with Greg about moving to southern California at the end of that summer, and living there with him and some of his other relatives, but this idea of moving to southern California died away within me as I fell in love with Kate, and I did not wish to be so far from her. Kate and I had talked about moving to southern California together and living with Greg and his friends and family, but this seemed as though it would be awkward to me. Awkward because truly one of the reasons that I had wanted to move to southern California was because of all the beautiful women there, and at the time that I had made plans to move to southern Cal with Greg I was a single man who enjoyed the company of such women. Having found a woman more beautiful and intelligent than I could ever hope to find in this world there in Stanley Idaho, I was truly confused as to what I should do that fall. And being one who suffers from a multiple personality disorder, I have a history of having a terrible time making decisions for myself as often decisions involving my future were already made for me by Byrd, the CIA, and my family. And, Byrd, the CIA, the Church and my family had plans for me that year which did not coincide with my own.

On one of my trips back down to Nampa from Stanley my father had talked to me about my plans for the coming winter. When I told him that I was unsure of what I should do he had told me that my older brother was moving to Sandy, Utah so that he could be closer to his girlfriend at the time, and he would need a roommate there. My father told me that I should go and live with my older brother there in the heartland of Mormon country at the end of the summer. My father framed it in such a way that he was concerned for my brother living there in Utah by himself, and I should also move with him to keep him company and provide some security for his situation there. This all made sense to me at that time, and I agreed that at the end of the summer I would move to Sandy, Utah with my older brother. When I had this conversation with my father, he had told me that my brother would be going to Utah and would be finding an apartment for us both to live in there. He told me that when he had found a place and the time came, we would have to move his and some of my things down to Sandy, and I told him that I could be available to help with this. In my mind, family always came first. I had returned to Stanley after this trip to Nampa and this conversation with my father and was torn inside as I did not wish to leave Kate, and I could not understand what was happening with my life at that time.

When my older brother found a place for us to live there in Sandy, I took a couple of days off from work and rode my motorcycle back down to the Boise Valley and we took a cargo trailer loaded with my brother and I’s furniture and belongings and hooked it up to my parent’s luxury van for hauling to Utah. It would be my father, mother, youngest brother, and myself that would be taking the trip south. Before we left Nampa and my parents’ house, my father made sure that I had the proper clothes for visiting the Mormon Temple Square while we were in Salt Lake City; i.e. a black suit and tie, as I was told that I had a meeting with one of the Mormon officials there as I was to be moving there and my church records would be moving with me. The only thing that I neglected to bring on the trip to Utah was a pair of nice leather dress shoes and I would need to borrow a pair from my father on the morning of our meeting at Temple Square.

At that time and through the summer of 1998, I had been slowly falling away from the Mormon Church. It was becoming less and less of a part of my conscious life. Before I had moved to Stanley, I had been trying for example to go on a mission for the Church as many young members do when they reach the age of nineteen years, and which was expected of me by my family. At that time, I had been trying to keep myself morally clean according to the Church’s standards so that I might be considered acceptable before the eyes of God and the Church for such a calling. But each time that I would be interviewed for a mission calling I would be put on probation for a duration of months until I would reach a point of being morally acceptable. There were two key sins that I committed at that time which restrained my being able to serve on a mission for the church: I will share them with you as I shared them with the bishop of our ward at that time. One of my sins was the fact that I would on occasion as many young people do, smoke marijuana. This is not allowed within the Church, and it is also forbidden for CIA mind slaves as it breaks down trauma-based mind control programming. I was honest with the bishop about this when I sat down in my interview with him and I told him that yes indeed, on occasion I did smoke marijuana. He told me that this disqualified me for a mission for the Church until I had quit doing such things. The second sin in which I had committed which I shared with the bishop in honesty was the fact that being a young male at the peak of my sexual existence I confessed to him that I would masturbate from time to time as young men do. When I told him this, he was a little shocked and he told me that this also disqualified me from being able to serve a mission for the Church until I had reached a point where I no longer did such a thing as this.

After some time of thinking on this issue after my initial meeting with the bishop I realized that most of the young men and women who were cleared by the bishop for Church service had been dishonest and lied to him in their interviews in order to go on their missions. The reason that I say this is that I personally knew several of the young people who were sent on missions from our ward and others in the area, both male and female; these individuals were far from what the bishop would consider “morally clean” in neither mind nor body. Therefore, not being willing to lie to my bishop on these issues I spent several months on Church probation and would never serve a mission for the Church. A fact which I will tell you I do not regret.

I can remember that we left for Utah in the morning and made the long drive down to the Salt Lake Valley in the family van with the trailer full of my brother and I’s personal furniture and belongings. The drive itself is about a six-to-eight-hour drive and we were all hungry by the time that we arrived at my brother’s new place there in Sandy. When we got there, my brother was happy to show us the new place which was a basement apartment underneath a house there in town; it was somewhat bare as his furniture was still up in the trailer hooked to my parent’s van but was a nice and clean place. I was excited to see it as this would also be my new place of residence in the coming weeks, but my parents, though they entertained my older brother in his tour of the apartment seemed mostly disinterested in the new place. It was quickly decided that we should unhook the trailer in the driveway, and all go to dinner as we were all starving after the long drive from Idaho. We all went back up to the street and the van and my father backed the trailer into the driveway, and we unhitched it from the van and blocked the wheels. After the trailer was disconnected, we all loaded up into the van and my parents took us out to dinner at the “Cracker Barrel” country themed restaurant. I can remember that I ate a large plate of food that night and when we dropped my older brother back off at his apartment, I was quite full from the meal. I had a problem with overeating throughout much of my youth as well as making healthy eating decisions.

After dinner we drove my older brother back to his basement apartment and dropped him off there for the night. We dropped him off at the new place and this was the last time that I would see my older brother on this trip to Utah. My parents had reserved a room at a hotel in downtown Salt Lake City for the night for the rest of us, so we then made the drive back up north to our hotel. After we had dropped my brother off at his new place and were driving away, I asked my father why we were not going to help my brother unload the trailer of our belongings which we had simply set in the driveway of the home and left there for him. My father told me that the church would be sending people over from the local ward to help him with unloading the trailer. I felt as though we should have been more involved and helpful with the moving process and felt bad for just leaving him with a full trailer. But I was riding with my parents, and they were heading back north to the heart of Mormonism there in Salt Lake City.

It was not a long drive, nor was it a short drive from my brother’s apartment in Sandy to the hotel in Salt Lake City. I had spent much of the day riding in the van with my parents and my youngest brother, so I was ready to be done with traveling by the time that we arrived at the hotel. I was also still full from the meal we had eaten and wished to stretch my legs and get some movement in my body to help with digestion. My parents drove us to a hotel that was close to the downtown area of Salt Lake City. This was the hotel that my parents had spent their honeymoon at several years before when they had gotten married. It was a nice hotel with multiple stories, and a pool and a hot tub. My parents talked about how they had stayed at the hotel on their honeymoon and how nice of a place it was; they said that it was too bad that none of the other family members could come along to enjoy it. This was confusing for me for as I perceived it my older brother was only a short drive to the south and could if he was so invited make the drive up north and at least enjoy the swimming pool with us that evening. This did not seem to be an option though for my parents.

When we arrived, my father pulled the van up to the front entry of the hotel which had a small, covered entry and a main glass door. He parked here in the front of the hotel, and he told me to go inside with him and we would see about our room for the evening. We got out of the van and walked through the glass doors and into the lobby of the hotel where there was a reception desk on the right side upon entering. There was one or two young women who were behind the counter, and they confirmed that we had reservations for the evening and my father filled out the paperwork and paid for the room. The pool and spa area were just to the left of and behind the reception desk which I took note of as my little brother, and I wanted to take a swim that evening. I mentioned to one of the young ladies behind the counter that we would like to try out the pool and take a swim later and they informed me that if we chose to do so the towels for the pool were there with them behind the counter and we would need to ask for one when we went swimming.

Having paid for our room and gotten our keys we walked back out to the van and unloaded all of our luggage for the night and carried it up to our room, which was not on the first floor as we had to take an elevator to get to it. And I will add, it was also not on the top floor, as I would be going to a room on the top floor of the building later that night. When we were all comfortably moved up to our room my father gave me the keys to the van and told me to go and park it in the hotel parking lot, which was located up the road half a block or so and on the right side; there was not enough parking available directly around the hotel given its location in a denser part of the city. I took the elevator back down to the main floor of the hotel and walked out to the van parked there in the front. I started it up and slowly drove it to the parking lot across the street. I was happy to do this service and to be of any help that I could for my family while we were all together. After I had parked the van, I gathered up some of my things which I had left there in the vehicle such as my scriptures, and locking the doors I walked back across the street to the hotel; it felt good to stretch my legs and to get some fresh evening air, even if it was city air. 

When I had gotten back to the hotel room my family was busy settling in and relaxing. I can remember that at some point after this my younger brother and I decided to go and take a swim at the pool. We both put on our swimming trunks and taking a key to our room we walked down the hall and took the elevator back down to the main floor of the hotel where the pool was located. We spent some time swimming and enjoying the time together. While we were hanging out in the pool area, I could see the entry to the hotel and part of the reception area and I can remember that I had wished that one of the young women from the reception area would come and take a swim with us, but this was just the wishes of a young man. I did observe as we swam that there was a group of three people who checked into the hotel while I was swimming which consisted of a young man who looked somehow familiar to me, and two young ladies who were with him. They all looked to be about my age, and I had wished that someone my age would come and take a swim with us.

We swam in the pool and sat in the hot tub for an unknown length of time. When we were done swimming I walked over to the reception area to get some towels from the young women there at the as that was where the towels were located, and my younger brother and I dried off and headed back up to the room. Things were quiet when we got back to our room and my parents were watching television. I got into the shower and got cleaned up from swimming then I got dressed for a restful night of early sleep, or so I had thought; this was not to be the course of events for the evening. After we had all begun to settle down for the night there was a knock at the door of our room. This came as quite a surprise for me, and my father told me to answer the door. I answered it and there standing at our room’s threshold was the three young people that I had seen check into the hotel earlier that night while my younger brother and I had been swimming in the pool. I now recognized the young man who was the son of one of the ward bishops from my hometown of Nampa, Bishop Madison; the young man’s name was Jay Madison. Jay was wearing a suit which is typical of males within the Mormon Church and the two girls with him were dressed in nice but short skirts.

I was quite surprised to see Jay Madison standing outside of our hotel room with two young ladies accompanying him, and as I said hello to them my mother and father came over by the door and invited them all into the room. My father asked Jay what he was doing there in Salt Lake City, and what he was doing out and about that night. Jay told us that he was going to go and do some Church/missionary work that night there in the city. He told us that he often came down to the Salt Lake area to do work for the Church. I can remember that Jay said that he needed another male to accompany him as it was inappropriate for him to be alone with two young ladies in the city at night. He said that he had seen my little brother and I in the pool and was aware that we were here and that I would be moving down to the Salt Lake area soon. The two young ladies introduced themselves and there was a blonde girl named Nicky who was taller, and a girl with dark hair and dread like braids whose name was said to be Sunbeam; they both looked to be around the ages of sixteen to eighteen years old. Jay said that they were stopping by to see if I did not want to go along with them that night to do some missionary/Church work.

I was a little surprised by all of this as I had been planning on going to bed early that night, but my parents just acted like it was life as usual as members of the Church, and I was told to go into the bathroom and change into my dress clothes so that I might go with Jay and the two girls for the night to help them with their “Church” work. I took my suit, and I went into the bathroom, and I changed into my dress clothes and when I emerged from the bathroom my parents were talking it up with Jay and the two girls. They all talked for a moment there in the vestibule of the room before Jay said that it was time to go. My father gave me a key to the room so that I could get back in when I came back later that night and saying goodbye to my parents and my younger brother I left the room with Jay, Nicky, and Sunbeam.

Jay had been on his best behavior while he was in the room and he was talking to my parents, and outside of the room he started to relax some back into his normal self. Jay and I were not exactly what one would call friends, but we were more acquaintances, and we had not always seen eye to eye in our past relations. Sometime before this event Jay and I had almost had a fist fight for example in front of his parent’s house there in Nampa, Idaho. This was because Jay and some of his other friends had been picking on one of my younger brothers and his friends and I had driven over to Jay’s house to tell him that he was not to bully my little brother and his friends anymore. So, we didn’t always get along. Nonetheless, being a mind slave and trying to make the best of the situation as it was, especially there in front of the young ladies, I told Jay that it was good to see him. He was in a pleasant mood that night and we acted like we were old friends. I told him that I was sorry about the time we had almost gone to blows there in front of his parent’s house and he just said that it was “water under the bridge” and we should let “bygones be bygones.”

The girls were very friendly, and I was soon talking with them as well. I found them both to be very attractive and I was soon flirting with the girl with dark hair, Sunbeam as she seemed older and more my type. She was flirty as well, but Jay spoke up and told me that I should not be flirting with Sunbeam because my fiancé Nicky was standing right there; he told me that I should be flirting with her. This was confusing to me as I could not understand how I could be engaged to this young lady without my knowing. We walked over to the elevator, and all got in and the doors closed behind U.S.  Jay selected the floor for the elevator, but rather than taking us to the main floor where we could go out into the city to perform some form of missionary work for the Church, he pushed the button that took us to the top floor of the hotel. I asked him where we were going, and he told me that they had forgotten something back at their room and he said that we needed to go back and get it. This seemed to make sense to me at that time.

The elevator took us to the top floor of the hotel, and we all exited the elevator and walked through the hallway heading toward their room. As we walked, someone made a comment about the hotel and how it was a nice place to stay. Nicky spoke right up, and she said that her family also had a chain of hotels, but she said that she thought that her family’s hotels were much nicer than this one was. This was interesting to me, and we talked some about running hotels and such, but I found my conversation with her to be somewhat annoying and felt that her attitude was as many would consider as snobby rich at that time; to Nicky everything about her father’s hotels was better and she told U.S. all about it. She was talkative and was probably just as nervous and confused with the situation as I was. I did find it interesting the idea of working in hotels as I considered what life would have been like for her growing up in such an environment as the hotel business, but I was not impressed by the apparent wealth her family had. Nicky and I had slowed while we talked and I can remember Jay saying, “hurry up you two love birds”. By this time, I was not in my right mind and had switched into another personality and I could not understand what was really going on; I will tell you that I was very confused by all of this.

We came to the door of their room there on the top floor of the hotel and Jay produced the key to the room. He gave it to me, and he told me that I was to open the door to our future, and he told me that I was to carry my future bride across the threshold to the room. He told Nicky and I that all of this had been arranged by our parents in celebration of our engagement. Some of these things which Jay said to U.S. were triggers and I was moved yet again into another personality and was well over the rainbow by this point in the night. I did as I was told as did Nicky and I picked her up as one would do in such an occasion as a marriage night. She was not heavy as she was a thin young woman and with the key, I opened the door to the room. I stepped inside of the room with Nicky in my arms and Jay and Sunbeam followed right behind U.S.  Someone turned the lights on and closed the door to the room. I set Nicky down and looked around the room at where I was now. I noticed that the room was set up with lighting and a camera for filming. A part of me was accustomed to such things as this as I had been used in pornography for much of my life and I began to switch into a personality that dealt with such situations. The girls started to make themselves comfortable as though we were all staying in the room for a while.

The room had a single bed and was not a large room. There was lighting set up in the room as well as a camera located on the door/entry side. There was a large window at the opposite side of the room that looked directly out of the hotel at the Mormon Temple there in Salt Lake City, and the Temple was framed in the windows view. I asked Jay what all the camera equipment was for, and he told me that it was for making a porno film with myself and the two girls. He told me that he had heard that I was accustomed to such things and that I had been used in pornos before and he and the girls wanted to see what I could do and had high expectations for me that night. The curtains on the window were wide open and I told Jay that people outside of the hotel might see U.S. there in the room with the curtains open such as they were. Jay told me that that was just fine, because there were lots of people who wanted to see U.S.  I disassociated into the situation, and I looked at the camera equipment and tried to draw attention to this rather than to the act of making a porno film. I told him that it was a nice camera, and I asked him where he had gotten it from. He told me that the camera was his fathers’ and said that it should work great for U.S. as they used it all the time at his house for making porn, and he was used to it.

Nicky and Sunbeam came over to where Jay and I were talking, and Nicky joined into the conversation saying that her family also had filming equipment like that which Jay was using but she said that the equipment that her father had was better than Jays filming equipment. She asked why we were not using her family’s gear rather than Jays. Jay was annoyed by this, and he said that it was time to make a video; he told me that the girls wanted to see what I could do. Jay knew and understood my sexual triggers and he triggered me as well as Nicki and Sunbeam into sexual personalities. Things at this point became very much a porno video which was filmed with the Mormon temple in the background the entire time; it was pure sacrilege against all the good that the Church ever stood for. Somewhere in the world is a video of these events.

I had sex with both Nicky and Sunbeam for some time while Jay filmed it all. At some point Jay went from filming to being involved with the sex. He was a strange fellow and rather than wishing to have intercourse with the young women, Jay wanted to have sex with me. I was a mind slave, and I did as I was told to do. When all of this was finally over everything settled down and we all laid down in the bed together to rest. I can remember lying there in the bed and holding Nicky close to me and having an understanding that I was holding the young woman who I was supposed to marry. After a time, Jay told me that I needed to head back to my parent’s room as it was getting late into the night and would soon be morning. I had been comfortable lying there in bed holding onto Nicky and was jealous that Jay would be able to stay and that I would have to leave. Begrudgingly I got dressed again into my suit and I left the room and headed back toward my parents’ room.  It was very early in the morning as I made my way back through the hotel alone and I was exhausted after such a day of traveling and all that I had been through that night. I was glad to get back to my parents’ room with the expectation that I would be able to get some sleep at last. But sleep was still not on the agenda for the night.

When I entered my parent’s hotel room most of the lights were off, and it was dark except for the light being on in the bathroom with the door slightly cracked open to let a little light into the dark space. Immediately upon entering the room all hope of getting any sleep was shattered by my father who was there waiting for me. He had stayed up through the night and was dressed only in his white church garments. He addressed me angrily as I entered the room in a hushed and firm voice that said that he was really pissed off at me. He demanded to know what I was doing coming back to the room at such a late hour as this and he told me that he had been up all-night waiting for me. I did not know how to respond to his questioning because it was he who had told me to go with Jay and the girls for the night. He grabbed me hard by the arm and he made me go into the bathroom with him and he closed the door behind us so that my mother and younger brother would not be able to hear.

My father molested and raped me in the bathroom for an unknown amount of time as I can recall him making me perform oral sex on him as well as him anally raping me after this in the shower. I can remember that at some point during all of this he told me that I was not to screw up his relationship with the Hiltons, and he told me that I was to marry Nicky in three years’ time when she had turned eighteen years old. He told me that this marriage was being arranged by Nicky’s mother, because she had heard about how I had tried to help Nicky when she had sprained her ankle in the Most Dangerous Game. I was told that her mother saw this as a sign from the universe that her and I should be together. I should add that this marriage was also being arranged by my family and Byrd and the Central Intelligence Agency as many would benefit by the arrangement. My father told me that he was going to receive significant business arrangements and networking capabilities for his computer business, ABI Computers, because of this marriage. My father was a complete weirdo, and he told me that when I was married to Nicky, he would also get his turn with her as well as with her sister Paris. This seemed to be something promised to him by someone and he was looking forward to it. 

I can remember that when my father was done abusing me in the bathroom, he went through the process of hypnotizing me to remember to forget the events of the night, forgive and forget, and then he hit me with a handheld stun gun on my right thigh. When I could stand on my own again after being electrocuted my father told me to go and get dressed and get into bed. He also told me that I was to wake my younger brother and send him into the bathroom as he wanted to talk with him. I got dressed and then I woke up my little brother and told him that our father wanted to talk with him in the bathroom. It took a few moments for him to wake up and comprehend what I was telling him and then he got up and went into the bathroom with our father and the door closed behind him. I got into bed and laid there in a state of complete trauma and internal panic from what had happened to me that night and, what a part of me knew was happening to my little brother in the bathroom. If I had been in my right mind, I would have rescued my little brother from his fate of abuse there in the bathroom with my father, but I was under a deep state of mind control and did not understand what was going on or what to do. After a time, I finally fell asleep for about an hour or so before I was awoken by my mother who was up and getting ready for her day at Temple Square; it seemed as though she had slept through everything that night.

I was grumpy and groggy that morning as we all got up and started to get ready for the day. I felt sick and had a headache and everything seemed hazy as though something was physically wrong with me and even after the large meal from the evening before I was also getting hungry, but we would not be eating breakfast that morning as my mother and father had decided for us that it would be best to fast before our meeting with the Mormon officials. Fasting for short periods of time is a common practice within the Mormon religion and food deprivation is a common practice for enhancing trauma-based mind control. We would all need to be dressing in our finest clothes that day which meant a suit and a tie. I had neglected to bring a good pair of dress shoes for the trip but rather I only had a pair of Birkenstock sandals; my father had an extra pair of shoes that I would wear that morning. We all got dressed and ready to go but we would not be staying another night at the hotel, rather we would be heading back to Nampa and my parents’ house after we had met with the Mormon officials and had lunch at Temple Square.

So, we packed up all our belongings and got everything ready to take back down to the van. When everything was packed up my father gave me the keys to the van and asked me if I would not go and retrieve it from the parking lot below and pull it up to the front of the hotel, so that we might load our luggage and make it easier on my mother and himself to get everything into the van. He said that they would meet me at the hotel entry. My little brother also wanted to go with me to get the van, so I took the van keys, and we took the elevator down to the first floor of the hotel and walked to the van across the street from us. We brought the van back over to the front of the hotel and parked it in front of the main glass doors. We got all our luggage loaded up into the vehicle and checked out of our room at the front desk. We all loaded up into the van and headed out for Temple Square; my father drove, and my mother sat in the front passenger seat as she always did. My little brother and I sat in the back-middle seats of the van. I was exhausted as we headed out for the morning, and I was not excited about going to Temple Square.

We had spent some time living in the Salt Lake area when I was a young child, so my father knew his way around that morning. He drove the van the short distance through the city over to Temple Square which was not far from our hotel. He did not want to park the van on any of the off streets in the area but wanted to park the van next to Temple Square and the temple. He circled around the Mormon complex looking for the perfect spot to park and he found the ideal parking spot there on the square next to the temple. He parked the van.

There was a security guard there on the sidewalk walking around the outside of Temple Square; he was with the temple security team. My father gathered up some change to pay for the parking meter and he got out of the van and said hello to the security guard. He was very friendly with him as he always was with people that he met such as this and they talked for a short time while he paid for the parking meter. I stepped out into the Salt Lake City air, and I said hello to the security guard that my father was talking with; it was already a hot Utah morning. Having paid for the parking meter we said goodbye to this individual and we walked around the large wall that separates Temple Square from the rest of the city and found an entrance leading inside of the square. It was still early, and we had a couple of hours before our meeting, so my parents wanted to spend some time taking in some of the visitor sites around the temple and within the square while we had the time to do so. One of the first things we had to do in Temple Square was find a restroom for my mother.

Temple Square is a quiet and a contemplative environment by design in the heart of downtown Salt Lake City. For those of the Mormon faith, Temple Square is a sacred site where one is to be quiet and respectful to the space around them and on their best behavior. We were all dressed in our finest Sunday clothes and acted the part of the perfect Mormon family while we were there. Before our meeting we would be visiting an art gallery, viewing the large marble statue of Jesus Christ, and going to a film about the history of Mormonism. The meeting itself would be located at the Church Administrative Building, which was located near Brigham Young’s mansion, also known as the Beehive Mansion. The art gallery for myself was one of the most peaceful attractions that we visited; it was easy for me to disassociate into the paintings as they were wonderfully done works of art. The art works in this facility were based around the Mormon doctrines and its history. I enjoyed this part of the trip, and I am not sure what building this art gallery was in at that time.

We also went to see the large statue of Jesus Christ surrounded by the moon and the stars that is located there in Temple Square. This area was a magnificent demonstration of artistic skill and craftsmanship with the large statue of Christ carved of marble as well as the fine woodwork of the room. We spent a short time in this space enjoying the apparent serenity of the room. I sat with my father for a moment here and he talked with me about some of the symbology in the space. Carved into the bench seats and planters in the viewing area of the room are several pentagrams or stars which are inverted with the downward point being elongated and reaching further down than the other four points on the star. My father told me that this symbol was a representation of the fallen angel, Lucifer and he said that the inverted and elongated point of the pentagram represented the knowledge and wisdom that the fallen angel still provides to those on earth who follow his teachings. This was all very confusing to me at the time, but I was in a state of mind control in the center of Mormonism with my family, so I simply took in what my father told me.

While we were there at Temple Square and waiting for our meeting we also went and watched a short film about the history of Mormonism. This film was in a theater that is there on the site and had comfortable chairs and was airconditioned. I had seen the film being played before on previous trips/visits to Temple Square with my family in years past, which portrays a positive light on the history of the church as well as telling the story of the Church as the Church would want it to be told. Having gotten almost no sleep throughout the night I was tired, and it was difficult not to sleep through this film as the chairs were comfortable and the room was dark and cool. I dosed off some, but my father told me to stay awake.

I can remember that at some point we had to put more change in the parking meter so I was sent back to the van parked on the street with enough change to recharge the parking meter so that we could buy some more time with our parking spot. My parents wanted to take a tour of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building as we still had a little time before our meeting with the Mormon officials. I can remember being in this building at a reception desk of some kind and my parents signing up for a tour. The tour of the building started at a certain time, so we had a little time before it was to begin. My mother also wanted to see the Beehive Mansion, also known as the Brigham Young Mansion, so we made the short walk down the street to the Beehive Mansion. I can remember that there were lots of flowers out in front of the Beehive mansion and it was a beautiful house. It was located right on the corner of the intersection of two streets and there was a metal archway over the street with a sculpture of an eagle on it.

We were able to tour the first and second floors of the home; on the first floor I can remember that there was a room for meeting and sitting with guests. It seems like there was a family room with a nice fireplace and a sitting area on the first floor. There was also a dining room with a dining table that was long and intended to serve several people at once. Someone working there at the house explained that Brigham Young had several wives and many children all of whom needed to be fed. I can remember that there was a young couple there also touring the home who found the size of the table to be so large that it was humorous, and they chuckled at the idea of such a large family. Having seen where the food was served to the Young family, we also saw the kitchen area which prepared the meals for them.  The home seemed very well built and had lots of fine woodwork throughout. I can remember that on the stairs there was a beehive carving of some kind in the newel posts. Some of Brigham Youngs carpentry tools were also on display in the home and it was said that he really liked the skill and craft of carpentry, and his home reflected this. We also toured the second floor of the home but then had to leave and head back to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building because it was time for our tour there and my mother did not want to miss it.

We left the Beehive Mansion and walked back over to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. We walked past the flower garden there in front of the house and past the Church Administration Building where we would soon be meeting with the Mormon officials. I can remember that the Joseph Smith memorial Building was a tall grand building. There was a covered area out in front of the building, and we entered through a door that was not a normal glass door but rather a turning one such as would be seen in a big city such as New York. I can remember going into this building and entering a large grand room with a tall ceiling made of glass and beams. There was a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling. We had arrived in time for the guided tour, and we joined a group of people.

I can remember that this tour was led by a young woman about my age who had blonde hair and was thin and attractive. I was in a bad personality, a womanizer personality by this point of the morning; I had been kept up all night being made to make porn, been raped by my father, been hypnotized and electrocuted to forget, and was getting very hungry from fasting. I had tried to flirt with the woman leading the tour, but she had not shown any interest in my advances. This was all very awkward for me. We toured the building, and I can remember seeing sculptures, stairs, columns, and the tall ceiling made of glass and beams. There was a second-floor balcony in the main entry to the building with nice stairs leading between the floors. I can remember something about a room with a dolphin theme, but I have yet to understand this. The tour ended in front of/near a Church store/gift shop of some kind.

I can remember that after the tour we went into the gift shop and spent some time there. This was to me a typical Mormon store having many of the Mormon feel good paraphernalia items that are typical in such places with jewelry bearing Mormon symbology such as CTR rings, necklaces, etc. I looked over the rings and jewelry but already had a CTR ring that I wore so I did not need one. The gift shop also had framed art works of replicas of the paintings that we had seen in the art gallery earlier that morning. I stopped in this area of the store and looked at the artwork for a little while before my mother joined me. We both looked at the artwork and my mother found one that she really wanted to buy but it was around a hundred and twenty-five dollars or so, and my father did not want to spend that kind of money on a souvenir. I roamed the store some more and found the selection of scriptures and scripture cases and I found a nice leather case that both my Book of Mormon as well as my Bible could fit into. I asked my father if he might purchase me this cover for my scriptures as I had needed one for some time, or so I had thought. The black leather cover for my scriptures only cost around thirty-five dollars or so and my father did not mind covering the cost of this item. My little brother asked my father to purchase him a small action figure of one of the main Mormon characters from the Book of Mormon, either Moroni or Nephi, I can’t remember which. At first my father did not consent to the purchase of the painting for my mother. So before leaving the store my father simply paid for the leather cover for my scriptures and my little brothers action figure.

After this I can remember that we went to the second-floor balcony area of the building and sat down for a short period of time. I can remember looking at the ceiling and enjoying the architecture of this place. My little brother played with his new action figure, and I can remember my mother talking to my father about the painting she had seen in the gift shop; she really wanted to buy it. She finally convincing him to purchase it as we had still not received a message on my father’s pager stating that the Mormon Officials were ready to meet with U.S. My parents told my little brother and I that we were going back to the gift shop, and we all got up and walked there together.

When we got to the gift shop the art piece was still in its place in the display area with the other art. My mother and father paid for the item, and we all left the gift shop with the painting in hand. My mother had to use the restroom again after we had gotten out of the store, so she utilized the facilities there while we waited. While we were waiting for my mother to return from the bathroom my father’s pager went off notifying U.S. that the Mormon official was ready to meet with U.S.  When my mother got out of the bathroom, we all went back over to the Church Administrative Building. There was a waiting area, and some benches/seats where we sat and waited here for a short time before a man in a black suit, white shirt and tie opened the door and greeted U.S. This man’s name was Brother Monson. 

Brother Monson greeted U.S. all and invited U.S. inside of the hallway leading further into the building and to his office. My mother and father were both very impressed to be meeting Brother Monson in person there in Salt Lake City; I was just there as this is where the Church, State and family wished for me to be and was conflicted with meeting Monson in person that day; he did not feel like a good person to me. He felt and looked like a bad person in a suit. My little brother could have cared less because he was just starving from fasting all morning. My mother had her art replica and proudly showed it to Brother Monson who told her that it was a nice piece of art but truly he did not seem to be impressed by her choices in art; I could tell that he was not that interested in it. He asked my mother to set the painting down there in the hallway and told her that she could pick it up again after our meeting and on her way out. My mother did not like to hear this as she had just purchased the item and was in fear of losing it, and she told Monson that she was concerned about someone stealing it from her with it just lying there in the hallway against a wall. Monson chuckled at this idea, and he told my mother that she was surrounded by Mormons, and he said that one of the beautiful things about Mormons is that they will not steal from you; he said that she could trust the people here.

We followed Monson and I can remember that there was a main hallway with several doors on both sides of the corridor. This was where the offices of the Twelve Apostles were located. Some of the doors to the various rooms were closed and some of them were open. We walked down the hall to Monson’s office, and he let U.S. into the room. The office was not large but was not small. It was set up in the typical Mormon fashion with a large wooden desk and a nice chair for the room’s main occupant behind the desk. There were also some chairs in front of the desk for those visiting Monson as well as chairs along the walls for additional seating. Monson closed the door when we had entered the room and directed my mother, father, and myself to sit down in the chairs in front of his desk. My little brother sat in one of the chairs against the wall as he was not directly involved in the conversation.

Monson talked with U.S. and thanked U.S. for coming down from Idaho to meet with him. I can remember that he also said that “Hinckley had intended on being here to meet with you and Jonathan himself, but something came up and he was unable to be here. That is why Hinckley asked me to speak with you in his place.” Continuing Monson said, “I know that Hinckley was very impressed with you Jonathan when he met you in Hailey, and we are all excited to have you moving down to the Salt Lake Valley.” A part of me could remember meeting Hinckley when Monson mentioned this, and this memory pushed me deeper into myself as I did not want it discussed in front of my mother and younger brother or even my father for that matter; Monson was referring to the presentation on the CIA’s Mk-Ultra trauma based mind control program that we had given to Hinckley in 1995 at my uncle Gale Pooleys home. Continuing he said, “I hope that it wasn’t too much trouble getting here and finding somewhere to park.” My father told Monson that we had lived in the Salt Lake area before and he knew his way around the city, so it was no trouble at all.

The conversation shifted to my older brother and I moving to the Salt Lake area and Monson asked how the move was going. My father told him that it was going well and said that we had brought down a trailer with my brother and I’s things and some members of the church would be helping him to unload it in the coming days. Monson told my parents how much the church appreciated them and their dedication to the Church and what he referred to as the Left-Hand Path; he told my parents that they should be very proud of me and the family Bloodline we came from. He said that he was familiar with our family bloodline, and he said that he knew that my father and mother followed what he called the Left-Hand Path of God: i.e. Satanism. He said that many follow the Right-Hand Path of God, but few he said, have the courage to follow the Left-Hand Path; Monson told U.S. that the Left-Hand Path was the shortest path to the top of this world, and he said that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, i.e. the Mormon Church, provides a way for both those who serve the Right and/or the Left-Hand of God.

I can remember that Monson explained to U.S. that many of the elite and those in power follow the Left-Hand Path of God. Monson said that several members of the Twelve Apostles followed the Left-Hand Path as well as several members of the Quorum of the Seventy. He told U.S. some of the names of those in the Twelve and the Seventy who were Satanists hiding in the Church, but I cannot at the time of this writing remember their names. He told U.S. that not all of the leaders in the Church followed the Left-Hand Path and some of them, he told U.S. do follow the Right-Hand Path: i.e. Christianity and the embracing of the light of Christ. He said that those who serve the Right-Hand of God can be useful in their way.

Monson explained that though there was fewer of U.S. who followed the Left-Hand Path it was nonetheless our responsibility to lead and control those who followed the Right-Hand Path. He explained that it was important to keep the good people in the Church busy for example with performing good deeds and being involved with activities which will keep them occupied and distracted from other more nefarious things which those on the Left-Hand Path may be committing such as pedophilia, Satanism, drug trafficking, human trafficking, mind slavery, murder, etc. Monson told U.S. that by letting some of the local church members in the area help my older brother to unload the trailer we were providing them with an opportunity to serve; they enjoy doing good works and we were providing them the opportunity to do so.

Monson continued and said that all the preparations were being arranged and put into order for my moving to the Valley. Monson told me that I would be having full access to the temple and the temple grounds for the purposes of my work for the government and the Church and he said that I would be working directly under the Church Presidency, and therefore I would need the appropriate clearances. He said that one of the other members of the Twelve Apostles was working on the appropriate paperwork for my clearances and placement within the Church: a man by the name of Brother Eyring. Monson told U.S. that he would lead U.S. down the hallway to meet with this man who would be overseeing the handling of my paperwork, because he wanted myself as well as my parents to become familiar with him as he would also be my contact for the Church. He said that this man was an extremely hard worker there in the offices and he spoke very highly of this man’s work ethic and the trust which he placed in him. 

At this point our meeting was over and we all stood up and Monson lead U.S. down the hallway to an office that was on the right side of the hallway. Brother Eyring’s office door was open when we approached it and Monson knocked and walked in. Eyring was sitting at his desk in front of his computer, and he seemed to be busy at his work. Monson told him that he had a family that he wanted to introduce him to, and we all crowed into the room. Eyring said hello to U.S. all and we all shook hands. Monson asked Eyring about my paperwork and Eyring knew what he was talking about. They talked about how I would be serving in some form of internship position within the Church under the Presidency. But Eyring said that there had been some kind of hold up with the processing of my clearances and the movement of my records within the Church. There was some form of paperwork that I was supposed to sign and fill out, but it had not yet reached his office, and he asked me if I could be available in a couple of weeks’ time after I had moved down to the valley. He told me that he would contact me after I had moved down, and we could settle things then. I told him that I would await word from him when I had moved to the area, and we agreed to this process. Our meeting was now over, and it was time for U.S. to leave and head back out to have lunch.

We said goodbye to Eyring, and we stepped back out into the hallway with Monson. I was at that time very hungry from fasting, weak and tired from no sleep, fried from being electrocuted earlier that morning and was under a state of mind control; I was visibly beginning to have trouble even functioning and my little brother was not looking so good either. We talked with Monson for a few moments there in the hall and he again thanked U.S. for coming down to meet with him. I can remember him noticing how out of it I was, and he chuckled and told my father and mother that they needed to go and feed my little brother and I before one of U.S. passed out from hunger. They assured him that we were going to go and get something to eat right after our meeting and my father asked if there was not a good place to eat that was close by which he could recommend. Monson told my father about a restaurant that many of the Church leaders would go to for lunch that was in or near Temple Square which had a clear view of the Temple and the grounds. Monson told my father that if we wanted to go straight to lunch, he could have someone put some change in the meter where our van was parked so that it would not time out. My father told Monson that that would not be necessary as we would be taking the painting/art piece back to the van before we went to eat.

We said goodbye to Monson and walked down the hall and the stairs the same way that we had entered; I can remember that Monson did not walk U.S. back down to the doors leading to the public area but rather simply said, “You know your way out.” We found the painting in the same spot where we had left it, and we left the building. It was hot outside.

We began heading in the direction of the van so that we could put the painting inside of it while we went and ate and so that we could put some more change in the meter to buy some more time. My mother and little brother sat down in the shade near a water feature there on the Temple grounds and my father and I walked to the van. My father unlocked the van, and I climbed in with the painting and put it down in the back for safe keeping. I also wanted to take off my shoes quickly and put on my sandals as it was so hot outside, and our meeting with Monson was over. My father also got into the van, and he closed the doors behind himself. He took the opportunity to hypnotize me there in the back of the van telling me that the things which we had discussed with Monson were sacred and that I was to Remember to Forget about these events. When he had finished with the hypnosis process my father then had me pull up my pant leg on my right side and he hit me in the thigh with a handheld stun gun; God I was fried. When I was conscious enough after this my father told me to finish putting on my sandals and to get out of the van when I was ready. He then got out of the van and put some change in the parking meter as I put my sandals on and took the shoes off. I was out of it and confused and it was so hot in the van; I felt terrible but got my sandals on and got out of the van. My father locked the van and we both walked back to where my mother and little brother were still waiting for U.S. in the shade.

The building in which the restaurant was located was at the top of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. We walked to the building, which was not too far from where my mother was sitting, and we went inside and took the elevator to the top floor. The restaurant was a nice and fancy place with lots of whites and blacks much like the Mormon theme presents. We were seated at a table near the windows, and I can remember looking out of the window at the Temple and Temple Square below. At this location we were higher than the Temple and I can remember looking down at the roof and the various cat walks and access doors on the roof. I can remember that for lunch that day I ordered a Hawaiian sandwich with a side of fries: this was a sandwich with a piece of grilled chicken topped with a slice of ham, swiss cheese, pineapple, and a barbeque sauce of some kind. It was a really good sandwich. After lunch we went back down to the van, and we left Salt Lake City and started our way back toward Idaho.

In the end I did not marry Nicky Hilton; I was never even allowed to remember that I was supposed to. I would rather at summers end move down to Sandy, Utah and Kate, my then girlfriend in Stanley, Idaho would go to stay with one of her childhood friends in Boise, Idaho at the University there. I did not like the idea of being away from Kate and trying to have a long-distance relationship, so I invited her to come and live with me there in Sandy. A week after her arrival we would be engaged; one week after that we were married at her mother’s home in Gooding, Idaho. My marriage to Kate happened so fast that my family, Byrd and the CIA did not know what to do about it as it had come as a surprise to them all. Kate and I would leave Utah, and I moved out of my brother’s place there in Sandy shortly before we got married. I did not serve an internship in the Church under the presidency at that time; I could not even remember that I was supposed to. In my time in Sandy, Utah I did see Eyring at Church one Sunday when I went with my brother to a local ward. Eyring had told me in our initial meeting that he would contact me after I had moved down to the area, and he had tried to talk to me while I was there at church with my brother. But I could not remember who he was, and I had told him that I didn’t know what he was talking about, and my brother and I left the building right after this. I was confused by this event as was my older brother.

This is a Journaled Memory of the Author: J.R. Sweet

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