..The Left Hand Path..

Warning: this document is intended for persons over the age of eighteen years of age only and does contain mental and subconscious triggers for those who have suffered from the Central Intelligence Agency’s Mk-Ultra Trauma Based Mind Control Projects.

This journal entry is about the time that my family moved my older brother from Nampa, Idaho to Sandy, Utah which is just outside of Salt Lake City: the heartland of Mormonism. At that time, I was living near Stanley, Idaho outside of town in the woods with my future wife whom I had met that summer. I was to go to Nampa to help my family with my brothers move to Utah. On this trip to Salt Lake, I was to meet with the Mormon officials, Thomas S. Monson as well as Henry B. Eyring as it had been planned by the church, the Central Intelligence Agency, Byrd, and my family that I would also be moving to Sandy Utah with my brother at the end of the summer so that I could be at the services of the church presidency and in particular Gordon B. Hinckley. In this meeting with Monson, he would discuss what he called the Left Hand Path, (Satanism) and how the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints provides a way for both the right and the left-hand paths of God. On this trip I would also see the young woman that I was engaged to marry through the Central Intelligence Agency, Byrd, and my family: i.e. it was intended that I was to be in an arranged marriage with Nicky Hilton, the girl who had hurt her ankle at the beginning of The Most Dangerous Game. I would see Nicky at the hotel which I was staying at in Salt Lake City with my parents and little brother and I would be taken to a room on the top floor of the hotel with Nicky and we were made to make a porn video together with two other individuals: a girl named Sunbeam, and a young man from my hometown of Nampa, Idaho named Jay Madison.

At the end of May in the year 1998 A.D. I moved out of my parent’s home and went to spend the summer living in a small mountain town in central Idaho called, Stanley. This small mountain village is located at the base of the Sawtooth Mountain range and has access to some of Idaho’s most beautiful wilderness areas with an economy that is based on recreational tourism. I had moved to Stanley with one of my good friends from my childhood by the name of Sean Birt. When I moved to Stanley I had little to my name in monetary terms, with a bicycle for transportation, a guitar, an army pup tent and about thirty dollars in cash. At that time, I was recovering from a knee surgery I had on my right leg due to injuries I had sustained in climbing accidents. I had spent the weeks prior to my departure to Stanley living in the family room of my parent’s home recovering from the operation. On the day of the operation when my father got home from work, he moved my twin sized bed from my room to the family room of the home so that I could be more comfortable in my recovery. But this also meant that it was much easier for him to abuse me at night when everyone else had gone to sleep in the house as the family room was at the opposite end of the home from the rest of the bedrooms. I can remember that my father would abuse me in the dark hours of the night there in the family room and it was all horribly painful to bear at the time it would occur, but my father would use hypnosis and hit me with a taser when he was done so I was never allowed to remember what was going on. I could not wait to move out of my parent’s house when I left for Stanley that summer though I could not consciously understand why.

It was a wonderful summer in the mountains and wilderness areas of Idaho that year and in my time there I would meet my future wife with whom I am still married to this day. I met her on my birthday actually, there in Stanley. On that day I was in town, and I had brought my guitar with me and had walked up to the city park and sat down on the top of the slide and began to just play my guitar in one of the most beautiful parks in the world, as there is a magnificent view of the Sawtooth mountains from the vantage of the top of the slide. While I was playing my guitar two young ladies walked up the hill and sat down on the swings near me and I talked with them both for a while; one of them was named Kate and the other Kim; I would marry Kate as she is a wonderful and strong, intelligent woman and I love her dearly to this day. Being not shy at that time in my life I asked them both if they might not like to go to one of the local hot springs with me in the next few days to have a nice soak in the naturally hot water to which they both agreed. It truly was a wonderful summer.

As the summer waned on more of our friends from the Boise Valley would move to Stanley as well, and after a time there was several of us living there together in the woods outside of town. We all had jobs, worked hard, and enjoyed our time in the wilderness being young and alive. When I had days off from work I would at times go back down to the Boise Valley and visit with my family and friends. At that time, I could not remember that my parents were abusive, and I should stay away from them as I was never allowed to remember those things. On one of these trips back down to Nampa, I purchased a motorcycle that I used to get around Stanley and to travel back and forth to Nampa on my days off. As summer began to come to an end, I had to seriously think about what I was going to do that winter as Stanley is a harsh place to live in the winter and I had only planned on staying there for the summer months. But in that time, I had also fallen in love.

In the late spring/early summer I had talked with a friend of mine there in Nampa whose name was Greg McGary. Greg was a couple of years older than me and came from a very large Mormon family with about seven or eight other siblings; there were many in Gregs family and I do not know how many of them there was. Nonetheless, I had talked with Greg about moving to southern California and living there with him and some of his other relatives, but this idea of moving to southern California died away within me as I fell in love with Kate, and I did not wish to be separated and so far from her. Kate and I had talked about moving to southern California together and living with Greg and his friends and family, but this seemed as though it would be awkward to me. Awkward because truly one of the reasons that I had wanted to move to southern California was because of all the beautiful women there, and at the time that I had made plans to move to southern Cal with Greg I was a single man who enjoyed the company of such women. Having found a woman more beautiful and intelligent than I could ever hope to find in this world there in Stanley Idaho, I was truly confused as to what I should do that fall. And being one who suffers from a multiple personality disorder, I have a history of having a terrible time making decisions for myself as often decisions involving my future were already made for me by Byrd, the CIA, and my family. They had plans for me that did not coincide with my own.

On one of my trips back down to Nampa from Stanley my father had talked to me about my plans for the coming winter. When I told him that I was unsure of what I should do he had told me that my older brother Joey, was moving to Sandy, Utah so that he could be closer to his girlfriend, and he would be in need of a roommate there. My father told me that I should go and live with my older brother there in the heartland of Mormon country at the end of the summer. My father framed it in such a way that he was concerned for my brother living there in Utah by himself, and I should also move with him to keep him company and provide some security for his situation there. This all made sense to me at that time, and I agreed that at the end of the summer I would move to Sandy, Utah with my older brother. When I had this conversation with my father, he had told me that my brother would be going to Utah and would be finding an apartment for us both to live in there. He told me that when my brother had found a place and the time came, we would have to move his and some of my things down to Sandy. I had told him that I could be available to help with this and in my mind, “family always came first”. I had returned to Stanley after this trip to Nampa and this conversation with my father, and I was torn inside as I did not wish to leave Kate and I could not understand what was happening with my life at that time.

When my older brother Joey found a place for us to live there in Sandy, I took a couple of days off of work and rode my motorcycle back down to the Boise Valley and we took a cargo trailer loaded with my brother and I’s furniture and belongings and hooked it up to my parent’s luxury van for hauling to Utah. It would be my father, mother, youngest brother Alex, and myself that would be taking the trip south. Before we left Nampa and my parents’ house, my father made sure that I had the proper clothes for visiting the Mormon Temple Square while we were in Salt Lake City; i.e. a black suit and tie, as I was told that I had a meeting with one of the Mormon officials there as I was to be moving to the area and my church records would be moving with me. The only thing that I neglected to bring on the trip to Utah was a pair of nice leather dress shoes and I would need to borrow a pair from my father on the morning of our meeting at Temple Square.

At that time and through the summer of 1998, I had been slowly falling away from the Mormon Church. It was becoming less and less of a part of my conscious life. Before I had moved to Stanley, I had been trying for example to go on a mission for the Church as many young people do when they reach the age of nineteen years, and which was expected of me by my family. At that time, I had been trying to keep myself morally clean according to the Church’s standards so that I might be considered acceptable before the eyes of God and the Church for such a calling. But, each time that I would be interviewed for a mission calling I would be put on probation for a duration of months until I would reach a point of being morally acceptable. I will tell you that there were two key sins that I committed at that time which restrained my being able to serve on a mission for the church: I will share them with you as I shared them with the bishop of our ward at that time. One of my sins was the fact that I would on occasion as many people do, smoke marijuana. Smoking marijuana is not allowed within the Mormon Church, and it is also forbidden for CIA mind slaves such as myself. As a CIA mind slave, I was not allowed to have this drug as it is the one drug that I am aware of which breaks down trauma-based mind control programming. I was honest with the bishop about this when I sat down in my interview with him and I told him that yes indeed, on occasion I do smoke marijuana. He told me that this disqualified me for a mission for the Church until I had quit doing such things. The second sin in which I had committed which I shared with the bishop in honesty was the fact that being a young male at the peak of my sexual existence I confessed to him that I would masturbate from time to time as young men will do. When I told him this, he was a little shocked and he told me that this also disqualified me from being able to serve a mission for the Church until I had reached a point where I no longer did such a thing as this.

After some time of thinking on this issue after my initial meeting with the bishop I realized that most of the young men and women who were cleared by the bishop for Church service had been dishonest and lied to him in their interviews in order to go on their missions. The reason that I say this is that I personally knew several of the young people who were sent on missions from our ward and others in the area, both male and female; these individuals were far from what the bishop would consider “morally clean” in neither mind nor body. Therefore, not being willing to lie to my bishop on these issues I spent several months on church probation and would never serve a mission for the Church. A fact of which I will tell you I do not regret.

We left for Utah in the morning and made the long drive down to the Salt Lake Valley in the family van with the trailer full of my brother and I’s personal furniture and belongings. The drive itself is about an eight-hour drive and we were all hungry by the time that we arrived at my brother’s new place there in Sandy. When we got there, my brother was happy to show us the new place which was a basement apartment underneath a house there in town; it was somewhat bare as his furniture was still up in the trailer hooked to my parent’s van but was a nice and clean place. I was excited to see it as this would also be my new place of residence in the coming weeks, but my parents, though they entertained my older brother in his tour of the apartment seemed mostly disinterested in it. It was quickly decided that we should unhook the trailer in the driveway, and all go to dinner as we were all starving after the long drive from Idaho. We all went back up to the street and the van and my father backed the trailer into the driveway, and we unhitched it from the van and blocked the wheels. After the trailer was disconnected, we all loaded up into the van and my parents took us out to dinner at the “Cracker Barrel” country themed restaurant. I can remember that I ate a large plate of food that night and when we dropped my older brother back off at his apartment, I was quite full from the meal. I had a problem with overeating throughout much of my youth as well as making healthy eating decisions.

After dinner we drove my older brother back to his basement apartment and dropped him off there for the night. We dropped him off here and this was the last time that I would see my older brother on this trip to Utah. My parents had reserved a room at a hotel in downtown Salt Lake City for the night for the rest of us, so we then made the drive back up north to our hotel. After we had dropped my brother off at his new place and were driving away, I asked my father why we were not going to help my brother unload the trailer of our belongings which we had simply set in the driveway of the home and left there for him. My father told me that the church would be sending people over from the local ward to help him with unloading the heavy things from the trailer and getting it back to the rental company. I felt as though we should have been more involved and helpful with the moving process and felt bad for just leaving him with a full trailer. But I was riding with my parents, and they were heading back north to the heart of Mormonism there in Salt Lake City.

It was not a long drive, nor was it a short drive from my brother’s apartment in Sandy to the hotel in Salt Lake City. I had spent much of the day riding in the van with my parents and my youngest brother, so I was ready to be done with traveling by the time that we arrived at the hotel. I was also still full from the meal we had eaten and wished to stretch my legs and get some movement in my body to help with digestion. My parents drove us to a hotel that was close to the downtown area of Salt Lake City. This was the hotel that my parents had spent their honeymoon at several years before when they had gotten married. It was a nice hotel with multiple stories, and a pool and a spa area. My parents talked about how they had stayed at the hotel on their honeymoon and how nice of a place it was; they said that it was too bad that none of the other family members could come along to enjoy it. This was confusing for me for as I perceived it my older brother was only a short drive to the south and could if he was so invited make the drive up north and at least enjoy the swimming pool with us that evening. This did not seem to be an option though for my parents.

When we arrived, my father pulled the van up to the front entry of the hotel which had a small, covered entry and a main glass door. He parked here in the front of the hotel, and he told me to go inside with him and we would see about our room for the evening. We got out of the van and walked through the glass doors and into the lobby of the hotel where there was a reception desk on the right side upon entering. There was one or two young women who were behind the counter, and they confirmed that we had reservations for the evening and my father filled out the paperwork and paid for the room. The pool and spa area were just to the left of and behind the reception desk which I took note of as I wanted to take a swim after riding all day in a vehicle and eating chicken fried steak for dinner at the Cracker Barrel. I mentioned to one of the young ladies behind the counter that I would like to try out the pool and take a swim and they informed me that if I chose to do so the towels for the pool were there with them behind the counter and I would need to ask for one when I was ready for a swim.

Having paid for our room and gotten our keys we walked back out to the van and unloaded all of our luggage for the night and carried it up to our room, which was not on the first floor as we had to take an elevator to get to it but was also not on the top floor as I would be going to a room on the top floor of the building later on that night. When we were all comfortably moved up to our room my father gave me the keys to the van and told me to go and park it in the hotel parking lot, which was located up the road half a block or so and on the right side; there was not enough parking available directly around the hotel given its location in a denser part of the city. I took the elevator back down to the hotel entry and the van and I started it up and slowly drove it to the parking lot across the street. I was happy to do this service and to be of any help that I could for my family while we were all together. After I had parked the van, I gathered up some of my things that were still in it such as my scriptures and having locked the doors I walked back across the street to the hotel; it felt good to stretch my legs and to get some fresh evening air, even if it was city air. 

When I had gotten back to the hotel room my family was busy settling in and relaxing and my younger brother and I decided to go and take a swim at the pool. We both put on our swimming trunks and taking one of the key cards to the room we walked down the hall and took the elevator back down to the main floor of the hotel where the pool was located. We spent some time swimming and enjoying the time together. While we were hanging out in the pool area, I could see the entry to the hotel and part of the reception area and I can remember that I had wished that one of the young women from the reception area would come and take a swim with us, but this was just the wishes of a young man. I did observe as we swam that there was a group of three people who checked into the hotel while I was swimming, which consisted of a young man in a suit who looked familiar to me, and two young ladies in nice dresses/skirts who were with him. They all looked to be about my age, and I had wished that someone my age would come and take a swim with us.

We swam in the pool and sat in the hot tub for about an hour or so before I walked to the reception area to get some towels from the young women there at the front reception desk as that was where the towels were located, and my younger brother and I dried off and headed back up to the room. Things were quiet when we got back to the room and my parents were watching television. I got into the shower and got cleaned up from swimming then I got dressed for a restful night of early sleep, or so I had thought; this was not to be the course of events for the evening. After we had all begun to settle down for the night there was a knock at the door of our room. This came as quite a surprise for me, and my father told me to answer the door. I answered it and there standing at our room’s threshold was the three young people that I had seen check into the hotel earlier that night while my younger brother and I had been swimming in the pool. I now recognized the young man who was the son of one of the ward bishops from my hometown of Nampa; the young man’s name was Jay Madison. This young man was wearing a suit which is typical of males within the Mormon Church and the two girls with him were dressed in nice but short skirts. This was what I had seen them wearing when they had checked into the hotel earlier that evening while my little brother and I had been in the pool.

I was quite surprised to see Jay Madison standing outside of our hotel room with two young ladies accompanying him, and as I said hello to them my mother and father came over by the door and invited them all into the room. My father asked Jay what he was doing in Salt Lake City and what he was doing out and about that night. Jay told us that he was going to go and do some church/missionary work that night there in the city. He told us that he often came down to the Salt Lake area to do work for the Church. He told us that he needed another male to accompany him as it was inappropriate for him to be alone with two young ladies in the city at night. He said that he had seen my little brother and I in the pool and was aware that we were here and that I would be moving down to the Salt Lake area soon. The two young ladies introduced themselves and there was a blonde girl named Nicky who was taller, and a girl with dark hair and dread like braids whose name was said to be Sunbeam; they both looked to be around the ages of sixteen to eighteen years old. Jay said that he had heard that we were in the valley, and they were stopping by to see if I did not want to go along with them that night to do some missionary work. I was a little surprised by all of this as I had been planning on going to bed early that night, but my parents just acted like it was life as usual as members of the Church, and I was told to go into the bathroom and change into my dress clothes so that I might go with Jay and the two girls for the night to help them with their Church work. I took my suit, and I went into the bathroom, and I changed into my dress clothes and when I emerged from the bathroom my parents were talking it up with Jay and the two girls. They all talked for a moment there in the vestibule of the room before Jay said that it was time to go. My father gave me a key to the room so that I could get back in when I came back later that evening and saying goodbye to my parents and my younger brother Alex, I left the room with Jay, Nicky, and Sunbeam.

Jay had been on his best behavior while he was in the room and he was talking to my parents, and outside of the room he started to relax some back into his normal self. Jay and I were not exactly what one would call friends, but we were more acquaintances, and we had not always seen eye to eye in our past relations. A couple of years or so earlier Jay and I had almost had a fist fight for example in front of his parent’s house there in Nampa. This was because Jay and some of his other friends had been picking on one of my younger brothers and his friends and I had driven over to his house to tell him that he was not to bully my little brother and his friends anymore. Nonetheless, being a mind slave and trying to make the best of the situation, especially there in front of the ladies, I told Jay that it was good to see him. He was in a pleasant mood that night and we acted like we were old friends. I told him that I was sorry about the time we had almost gone to blows there in front of his parent’s house and he just said that it was “water under the bridge” and we should let “bygones be bygones.”

The girls were very friendly, and I was soon talking with them as well. I found them both to be very attractive and I was soon flirting with the girl with dark hair, Sunbeam as she seemed older and more my type. She was flirty as well, but Jay spoke up and told me that I should not be flirting with Sunbeam because my fiancé Nicky was standing right there; he told me that I should be flirting with her. This was confusing to me as I could not understand how I could be engaged to this young lady without my knowing. We walked over to the elevator, and all got in and the doors closed behind U.S.  Jay selected the floor for the elevator, but rather than taking us to the main floor of the hotel where we could go out into the city to perform some form of missionary work for the Church, he pushed the button that took us to the top floor of the hotel. I asked him where we were going, and he told me that they had forgotten something back at their room and he said that we needed to go back and get it. This seemed to make sense to me at that time.

The elevator took us to the top floor of the hotel, and we all exited the elevator and walked through the hallway heading toward their room. As we walked, someone made a comment about the hotel and how it was a nice place to stay. Nicky, spoke right up and she said that her family also had a chain of hotels, but she said that she thought that her families’ hotels were much nicer than this one was. This was interesting to me, and we talked some about running hotels and such, but I found my conversation with her to be somewhat annoying and felt that her attitude was as many would consider as snobby rich; to Nicky everything about her father’s hotels was better and she told U.S. all about it. She was talkative and was probably just as nervous and confused with the situation as I was. I did find it interesting the idea of working in hotels as I considered what life would have been like for her growing up in such an environment as the hotel business, but I was not impressed by the apparent wealth her family had. Nicky and I had slowed while we talked and I can remember Jay saying, “hurry up you two love birds”. By this time, I was not in my right mind and had switched into another personality and I could not understand what was really going on; I will tell you that I was very confused.

We came to the door of their room there on the top floor of the hotel and Jay produced the key to the room. He gave it to me, and he told me that I was to open the door to our future, and he told me that I was to carry my future bride across the threshold to the room. He told Nicky and I that all of this had been arranged by our parents in celebration of our engagement. Some of these things which Jay said to U.S. were triggers and I was moved yet again into another personality and was well over the rainbow by this point in the night. I did as I was told as did Nicky and I picked her up as one would do in such an occasion as a marriage night. She was not heavy as she was a thin young woman and with the key, I opened the door to the room. I stepped inside of the room with Nicky in my arms and Jay and Sunbeam followed right behind U.S..  Jay turned the lights on, and Sunbeam closed the door to the room. I set Nicky down and looked around the room at where I was now. I noticed that the room was set up with lighting and a camera for filming. A part of me was accustomed to such things as this as I had been used in pornography for much of my life and I began to switch into a personality that dealt with such situations. The girls started to make themselves comfortable as though we were all staying in the room for a while.

The room had a single bed and was not a large room. There was lighting set up in the room as well as a camera located on the door/entry side. There was a large window at the opposite side of the room that looked directly out of the hotel at the Mormon Temple there in Salt Lake City, and the Temple was largely framed in the windows view. I asked Jay what all the camera equipment was for, and he told me that it was for making a porno film with myself and the two girls. He told me that he had heard that I was accustomed to such things and that I had been used in pornos before and he and the girls wanted to see what I could do and had high expectations for me that night. The curtains on the window were wide open and I told Jay that people outside of the hotel might see U.S. there in the room with the curtains open such as they were. Jay told me that that was just fine, because there were lots of people who wanted to see U.S..  I disassociated into the situation, and I looked at the camera equipment and tried to draw attention to this rather than to the act of making a porno film. I told him that it was a nice camera and I asked him where he had gotten it from. He told me that the camera was his fathers’ and said that it should work great for U.S. as they used it all the time at his house for making porn, and he was used to it.

Nicky and Sunbeam came over to where Jay and I were talking, and Nicky joined into the conversation saying that her family also had filming equipment like that which Jay was using but she said that the equipment that her father had was better than Jays filming equipment and she asked why we were not using her families gear rather than Jays. Jay was annoyed by this, and he said that it was time to make a video; he told me that the girls wanted to see what I could do. Jay knew and understood my sexual triggers and he triggered myself as well as Nicky and Sunbeam into sexual personalities. Things at this point became very much a porno video which was filmed with the Mormon temple in the background the entire time; it was pure sacrilege against all the good that the church ever stood for. Somewhere in the world is a video of these events.

I had sex with both Nicky and Sunbeam for some time while Jay filmed it all. Toward the end Jay went from filming to being involved with the sex. He was a strange fellow and rather than wishing to have intercourse with the young women, Jay wanted to have sex with me. I was a mind slave, and I did as I was told to do. When all of this was finally over everything settled down and we all laid down in the bed together to rest. I can remember lying there in the bed and holding Nicky close to me and having an understanding that I was holding the young woman who I was supposed to marry. After a time, we began to fall asleep, and Jay told me that I needed to head back to my parent’s room as it was getting late into the night and would soon be morning. I had been comfortable lying there in bed holding onto Nicky and was jealous that Jay would be able to stay and that I would have to leave. Begrudgingly I got dressed again into my suit and I left the room and headed back toward my parents’ room.  It was very early in the morning as I made my way back through the hotel alone and I was exhausted after such a day of traveling and all that I had been through that night. I was glad to get back to my parents’ room with the expectation that I would be able to get some sleep at last. But sleep was still not on the agenda for the night.

When I entered my parent’s hotel room most of the lights were off, and it was dark except for the light being on in the bathroom with the door slightly cracked open to let a little light into the dark space. Immediately upon entering the room all hope of getting any sleep was shattered by my father who was there waiting for me in the vestibule of the room. He had stayed up through the night and was dressed only in his white church garments. He addressed me angrily as I entered the room in a hushed and firm voice that said that he was really pissed off at me. He demanded to know what I was doing coming back to the room at such a late hour as this and he told me that he had been up all night waiting for me. I did not know how to respond to his questioning because it was he who had told me to go with Jay and the girls for the night. He grabbed me hard by the arm and he made me go into the bathroom with him and he closed the door behind us so that my mother and younger brother would not be able to hear.

My father molested and raped me in the bathroom for an unknown amount of time as I can recall him making me perform oral sex on him as well as him anally raping me after this in the shower. While he was making me perform oral sex on him, he told me that I was not to screw up his relationship with the Hiltons, and he told me that I was to marry Nicky in three years’ time when she had turned eighteen years old. He told me that this marriage was being arranged by Nicky’s mother, because she had heard about how I had tried to help Nicky when she had sprained her ankle in the Most Dangerous Game. I was told that her mother saw this as a sign from the universe that her and I should be together. He said that he was going to receive significant business arrangements and networking capabilities for his computer business, ABI Computers, because of this marriage. My father was a complete weirdo and he told me as he made me suck on his dick that when I was married to Nicky, he would also get his turn with her as well as with her sister Paris. This seemed to be something promised to him by someone and he was looking forward to it.  He made me take off all of my clothes and get into the shower with him after he had made me perform oral sex on him.

When he had finished anally raping me in the shower, he went through the process of hypnotizing me to remember to forget the events of the night, “forgive and forget”, and then he hit me with a hand held taser on my right thigh. When I could stand on my own again after being tased my father told me to go and get dressed and get into bed. He also told me that I was to wake my younger brother and send him into the bathroom as he wanted to talk with him. I got dressed in the vestibule area of the room and then I woke up my little brother and told him that our father wanted to talk with him in the bathroom. It took a few moments for him to wake up and comprehend what I was telling him and then he got up and went into the bathroom with our father and the door closed behind him. I got into bed and laid there in a state of complete trauma and internal panic from what had happened to me that night and what a part of me knew was happening to my little brother in the bathroom. If I had been in my right mind, I would have rescued my little brother from his fate of abuse there in the bathroom with my father, but I was under a deep state of mind control and did not understand what was going on or what to do. After a time, I finally fell asleep for about an hour or so before I was awoken by my mother who was up and getting ready for her day at Temple Square; she had slept through everything.

I was grumpy and groggy that morning as we all got up and started to get ready for the day. I felt sickly and hazy as though something was physically wrong with me and even after the large meal from the evening before I was also getting hungry, but we would not be eating breakfast that morning as my mother and father had decided for us that it would be best to fast before our meeting with the Mormon officials. Fasting for short periods of time is a common practice within the Mormon religion and food deprivation is a common practice for enhancing trauma-based mind control. We would all need to be dressing in our finest clothes that day which meant a suit and a tie. I had neglected to bring a good pair of dress shoes for the trip but rather I only had a pair of Birkenstock sandals; my father had an extra pair of shoes that I would wear that day. We all got dressed and ready to go but we would not be staying another night at the hotel, rather we would be heading back to Nampa and my parents’ house after we had met with the Mormon officials and had lunch at Temple Square.

So, we packed up all of our belongings and got everything ready to take back down to the van. When everything was packed up my father gave me the keys to the van and asked me if I would not go and retrieve it from the parking lot below and pull it up to the front of the hotel, so that we might load all of our luggage and make it easier on my mother and himself to get loaded into the van. He said that they would meet me at the hotel entry. My little brother also wanted to go with me to get the van, so I took the van keys and we took the elevator down to the bottom floor of the hotel and walked to the van which was parked across the street from us. We brought the van back over to the front of the hotel and parked it in front of the main glass doors. We got all our luggage loaded up into the vehicle and checked out of our room at the front desk. We all loaded up into the van and headed out for Temple Square; my father drove, and my mother sat in the front passenger seat as she always did. My little brother and I sat in the back-middle seats of the van. I was exhausted as we headed out for the morning, and I was not excited about going to Temple Square.

We had spent some time living in the Salt Lake area when I was a young child, so my father knew his way around the city that morning. He drove the van the short distance through the city from the hotel to Temple Square, which was not far. My father did not want to park the van on any of the off streets in the area but wanted to park the van next to Temple Square and the temple. He circled around the Mormon complex looking for the perfect spot to park and he found the ideal parking spot there on the square next to the temple. He parked the van.

There was a security guard there on the sidewalk walking around the outside of Temple Square; he was with the temple security team. My father gathered up some change to pay for the parking meter and he got out of the van and said hello to the security guard. He was very friendly with him as he always was with people that he met such as this and they talked for a short time while he paid for the parking meter. I stepped out into the Salt Lake City air and myself said hello to the security guard that my father was talking with; it was already a hot Utah summer morning. Having paid for the parking meter we said goodbye to this individual and we walked around the large stone wall that separates Temple Square from the rest of the city and found an entrance leading inside of the square. It was still early, and we had a couple of hours before our meeting, so my parents wanted to spend some time taking in some of the visitor sites around the temple and within the square while we waited and had the time to do so. One of the first things we had to do in Temple Square was find a restroom for my mother.

Temple Square is a quiet and a contemplative environment by design in the heart of downtown Salt Lake City. For those of the Mormon faith Temple Square is a sacred site where one is to be quiet and respectful to the space around them and on their best behavior. We were all dressed in our finest Sunday clothes and acted the part of the perfect Mormon family while we were there at the site. Before our meeting we would be visiting an art gallery, viewing the large marble statue of Jesus Christ, and going to a film about the history of Mormonism. The meeting itself would be located at the Church Administrative Building as this was where the offices for the Twelve Apostles were located at that time. The art gallery for myself was one of the most peaceful attractions that we visited; it was easy for me to disassociate into the paintings as they were wonderfully done works of art. The art works in this facility were based around the Mormon doctrines and its history. I really enjoyed this part of the trip, and I am not sure what building this art gallery was in at that time.

We also went to see the large statue of Jesus Christ surrounded by the moon and the stars that is located there in Temple Square. This area was a magnificent demonstration of artistic skill and craftsmanship with the large statue of Christ carved of marble as well as the fine woodwork of the room. We spent a short time in this space enjoying the apparent serenity of the room. I sat with my father for a moment here and he talked with me about some of the symbology in the space. Carved into the bench seats and planters in the viewing area of the room are several pentagrams or stars which are inverted with the downward point being elongated and reaching further down than the other four points on the star are reaching out. My father told me that this symbol was a representation of the fallen angel, Lucifer and he said that the inverted and elongated point of the pentagram represented the knowledge and wisdom that the fallen angel still provides to those on earth who follow his teachings. This was all very confusing to me at the time, but I was in a state of mind control in the center of Mormonism with my family, so I simply took in what my father told me.

While we were there on the site and waiting for our meeting we also went and watched a short film about the history of Mormonism. This film was in a theater that is there on the site and had comfortable chairs and was airconditioned. I had seen the film being played before on previous trips/visits to Temple Square with my family in years past, which portrays a positive light on the history of the church as well as telling the story of the Church as the Church would want it to be told. Having gotten almost no sleep throughout the night I was tired, and it was difficult not to sleep through this film as the chairs were comfortable and the room was dark and cool. I dosed off some, but my father told me to stay awake and the violence that the film portrayed being inflicted upon the early Mormon population by persecutors of the Church also kept me awake for the most part.

When it came time to head over to the Church Administrative Building, I was first sent back to the van parked on the street with enough change to recharge the parking meter so that we could buy some more time with our parking spot. We then made the short walk to this corner of Temple Square. It was still not time for our meeting with the Mormon officials, so we took a tour of the Brigham Young Mansion which is known as the Beehive House, and there were guided tours available there in the home; my parents wanted to be able to tour the home before our meeting. We signed up for the tour at the reception counter and then we went and walked around the home a short while before it was time for the tour. When it was time for the tour, we gathered with some other folks around the reception desk and there was a young blonde woman who would be our guide. She was only slightly older than myself and being in a state of mind control and suffering from exhaustion and hunger I was in a personality that was a womanizer. At the beginning of the tour, I attempted to flirt with her, but she did not respond to my advances.

This young woman led us all through the first and second floors of the home; on the first floor was a grand entry and a small room for meeting and sitting with guests. There was a family room to the right as one would enter the home with a nice fireplace and sitting area. There was also a dining room on the first floor of the home as well, with a dining table that was exceedingly long and intended to serve several people at once. The tour guide explained that Brigham Young had several wives and many children all of whom needed to be fed. There were some in the group who found the size of the table to be so large that it was humorous, and they chuckled at the idea of such a large family. Having seen where the food was served to the Young family, we also toured the kitchen area which prepared the meals for them. The kitchen was like the dining room in that it was very large and was not one’s average household kitchen; it was a commercial style kitchen reminiscent of its day with plenty of room to work and prepare meals.  

There was a large set of stairs leading up to the second floor which was open at the center of the space and over the grand entry of the home. On the second floor of the home was a library/study where the family and children would work on their schooling etc. I enjoyed this space as it was quiet and tranquil. The master bedroom was also located on the second floor of the home. Both of these rooms had fireplaces and were elegant in their design. The home was also constructed with the most modern conveniences of its day and had some internal plumbing and restrooms in their original condition.  The tour guide told us of the wealth that Brigham Young had obtained in his life and the cost of the home at the time that it was constructed. Its value was several million dollars in today’s standards. There was a door on the second floor that led up to other floors/levels of the home, but the tour did not go up past these stairs. The tour guide explained to the group that Brigham Young was very connected to his work, and this was why the home had built so close to the Church Administrative Building. In this way Brigham Young could move freely between church work and home life and keep a close eye on those working under him.

The tour ended in the basement of the home at the gift shop and restroom area. Everyone dispersed and thanked the guide for the information on the home and the family. It was time for our meeting with the Mormon officials by the time that the tour ended, but my father was still waiting to receive a message on his pager stating that the officials were ready to meet with U.S.. Therefore, we spent some time going through the gift shop there in the basement of the home. The gift shop had many of the Mormon feel good paraphernalia items that are typical in such places with jewelry bearing Mormon symbology such as CTR rings, necklaces, etc. I looked over the rings and jewelry but already had a CTR ring that I wore so I did not need one. The gift shop also had framed art works of replicas of the paintings that we had seen in the art gallery earlier that morning. I stopped in this area of the store and looked at the artwork for a little while before my mother joined me. We both looked at the artwork and my mother found one that she really wanted to buy but it was around a hundred and twenty-five dollars and my father did not want to spend that kind of money on a souvenir. I roamed the store some more and found the selection of scriptures and scripture cases and I found a nice leather case that both my Book of Mormon as well as my Bible could fit into. I asked my father if he might purchase me this cover for my scriptures as I had needed one for some time, or so I thought. The black leather cover for my scriptures only cost around thirty-five dollars so my father did not mind covering the cost of this item. My little brother asked my father to purchase him a small action figure of one of the main Mormon characters from the Book of Mormon, either Moroni or Nephi; I cannot remember which. At first my father did not consent to the purchase of the painting for my mother. So before leaving the store my father simply paid for the leather cover for my scriptures and my little brothers action figure.

We left the gift shop and all walked back up to the main floor of the home and left the building. We walked over to the Church Administrative Building to wait for the page/message that the Mormon officials were ready to meet with U.S..  We entered the Church Administrative Building and took a large set of stairs to the second floor where there were there were various places to sit and wait. I can remember that my little brother sat and played with his new action figure, and I sat and put my scriptures into their new case and then read from my Bible. My parents also sat and talked quietly to each other for some time; my mother was attempting to convince my father that he should purchase the painting replica in the gift shop for her as she was set on having it. After a short time, my mother convinced my father to purchase the replica of the painting for her. My mother had been afraid that someone else would want to purchase the art piece before she could get to it.

My parents signaled me that we were going back to the gift shop, and we all got up and took the stairs back down to the bottom floor of the building. I was getting pretty hungry by this point in time, and it was a long walk for me to get to the gift shop. When we got to the gift shop the art piece was still in its place in the display area with the other art. My mother and father paid for the item, and we all left the gift shop with the painting in hand. My mother had to use the restroom after we had gotten out of the store, so she utilized the facilities there while we waited in the vestibule area in front of the shop by the stairs. While we were waiting for my mother to return from the bathroom my father’s pager went off notifying U.S. that the Mormon official was ready to meet with U.S..  When my mother got out of the bathroom, we all went back to the administrative building and back to the area by the doors leading to the offices. We waited here for a short time before a man in a black suit, white shirt and tie opened the door and greeted U.S..  This man’s name was Brother Monson. 

Brother Monson greeted U.S. all at the entry door and invited U.S. inside of the hallway leading up further into the building and his office. My mother and father were both very impressed to be meeting Brother Monson in person there in Salt Lake City; I was just there as this is where the Church, State and family wished for me to be and was conflicted as meeting Monson in person that day; he did not feel like a good person. He felt and looked like a bad person in a suit. My little brother could have cared less because he was just starving from fasting all morning. My mother had her art replica and proudly showed it to Brother Monson who told her that it was a nice piece of art but truly he did not seem to be impressed by her choices in art; I could tell that he was not that interested in it. He asked my mother to set the painting down there in the hallway and told her that she could pick it up again after our meeting and on her way out. It was large and awkward in the narrow hallways of the building. My mother did not like to hear this as she had just purchased the item and was in fear of losing it, and she told Monson that she was concerned about someone stealing it from her with it just lying there in the hallway against a wall. Monson chuckled at this idea, and he told my mother that she was surrounded by Mormons, and he said that one of the beautiful things about Mormons is that they will not steal from you; he said that she could trust the people here. He told her that if she was still nervous about this there was a small room there just inside of the double doors that acted as a storage facility in some way, and she could put her painting in that room where it would not be seen or noticed. My mother consented to this, and we put the artwork in the storage room before making our way up the stairs to his office.

We followed Monson up the stairs and to a landing and a main hallway with several doors on both sides of the corridor. This was where the offices of the Twelve Apostles were located. Some of the doors to the various rooms were closed and some of them were open. We walked down the hall to Monson’s office, and he let U.S. into the room. The office was not large but was not small. It was set up in the typical Mormon fashion with a large wooden desk and a nice chair for the room’s main occupant behind the desk. There were also some chairs in front of the desk for those visiting Monson as well as chairs along the walls for additional seating. Monson closed the door when we had entered the room and directed my mother, father, and myself to sit down in the chairs in front of his desk. My little brother sat in one of the chairs against the wall as he was not directly involved in the conversation.

Monson first addressed my father and my mother, and he said, “Thank you for coming down to meet with me today. I know that it is a long way for you to get here and I just want you to know that we all really appreciate it.”  Monson continued and he said, “Hinckley had intended on being here to meet with you and J.R. himself, but something came up and he was unable to be here. That is why Hinckley asked me to speak with you in his place.” Continuing Monson said, “I know that Hinckley was very impressed with you J.R. when he met you in Hailey and we are all excited to have you moving down to the Salt Lake Valley.” A part of me could remember meeting Hinckley when Monson mentioned this, and this memory pushed me deeper into myself as I did not want it discussed in front of my mother and younger brother or even my father for that matter; Monson was referring to the presentation on the CIA’s Mk-Ultra project that we had given to Hinckley in 1995 at my uncle’s home in the basement. Continuing he said, “I hope that it wasn’t too much trouble getting here and finding somewhere to park.” My father told Monson that we had lived in the Salt Lake area before and he knew his way around the city, so it was no trouble at all.

The conversation shifted to my older brother and I moving to the Salt Lake area and Monson asked how the move was going. My father told him that it was going well and said that we had brought down a trailer with my brother and I’s things and some members of the church would be helping him to unload it in the coming days. Monson told my parents how much the church appreciated them and their dedication to the Church and what he referred to as the Left-Hand Path; he told my parents that they should be very proud of me and the family Bloodline we came from. He said that he was familiar with our family bloodline, and he said that he knew that my father and mother followed what he called the Left-Hand Path of God: i.e. Satanism. He said that many follow the Right-Hand Path of God, but few he said, have the courage to follow the Left-Hand Path; Monson told U.S. that the Left-Hand Path was the shortest path to the top of this world, and he said that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, i.e. the Mormon Church, provides a way for both those who serve the Right and/or the Left-Hand of God. He explained to U.S. that many of the elite and those in power follow the Left-Hand Path of God. Monson said that several members of the Twelve Apostles followed the Left-Hand Path as well as several members of the Quorum of the Seventy. He told U.S. some of the names of those in the Twelve and the Seventy who were Satanists hiding in the Church, but I cannot at the time of this writing remember their names. He told U.S. that not all of the leaders in the Church followed the Left-Hand Path and some of them, he told U.S. do follow the Right-Hand Path: i.e. Christianity and the embracing of the light of Christ. He said that those who serve the Right-Hand of God can be useful in their way.

Monson explained that though there was fewer of U.S. who followed the Left-Hand Path it was nonetheless our responsibility to lead and control those who followed the Right-Hand Path. He explained that it was important to keep the good people in the Church busy for example with performing good deeds and being involved with activities which will keep them occupied and distracted from other more nefarious things which those on the Left-Hand Path may be committing such as pedophilia, Satanism, drug trafficking, human trafficking, mind slavery, murder, etc. Monson told U.S. that by letting some of the local church members in the area help my older brother to unload the trailer we were providing them with an opportunity to serve; they enjoy doing good works and we were providing them the opportunity to do so.

Monson continued and said that all the preparations were being arranged and put into order for my moving to the Valley. Monson told me that I would be having full access to the temple and the temple grounds for the purposes of my work for the government and the Church and he said that I would be working directly under the Church Presidency, and I would need the appropriate clearances. He said that one of the other members of the Twelve Apostles was working on the appropriate paperwork for my clearances and placement within the Church: a man by the name of Brother Eyring. Monson told U.S. that he would lead U.S. down the hallway to meet with this man who would be overseeing the handling of my paperwork, because he wanted myself as well as my parents to become familiar with him as he would also be my contact for the Church. He said that this man also followed the Left-Hand Path and was an extremely hard worker there in the offices and he spoke very highly of this man’s work ethic and the trust which he placed in him.  

At this point our meeting was over and we all stood up and Monson lead U.S. down the hallway to an office that was on the right side of the hallway. Brother Eyring’s office door was open when we approached it and Monson knocked and walked in. Eyring was sitting at his desk in front of his computer, and he seemed to be busy at his work. Monson told him that he had a family that he wanted to introduce him to, and we all crowed into the room. Eyring said hello to U.S. all and we all shook hands. Monson asked Eyring about my paperwork and Eyring knew what he was talking about. They talked about how I would be serving in some form of internship position within the Church under the Presidency. But Eyring said that there had been some kind of hold up with the processing of my clearances and the movement of my records within the Church. There was some form of paperwork that I was supposed to sign and fill out, but it had not yet reached his office and he asked me if I could be available in a couple of weeks’ time after I had moved down to the valley. He told me that he would contact me after I had moved down, and we could settle things then. I told him that I would await word from him when I had moved to the area, and we agreed to this process. Our meeting was now over, and it was time for U.S. to leave and head back out to have lunch.

We said goodbye to Eyring, and we stepped back out into the hallway with Monson. I was at that time very hungry from fasting, weak and tired from no sleep, fried from being tased earlier that morning and was under a state of mind control; I was visibly beginning to have trouble even functioning and my little brother was not looking so good either. We talked with Monson for a few moments there in the hall and he again thanked U.S. for coming down to meet with him. I can remember him noticing how out of it I was, and he chuckled and told my father and mother that they needed to go and feed my little brother and I before one of U.S. passed out from hunger. They assured him that we were going to go and get something to eat right after our meeting and my father asked if there was not a good place to eat that was close by which he could recommend. Monson told my father about a restaurant that many of the Church leaders would go to for lunch that was in or near Temple Square which had a clear view of the Temple and the grounds. Monson told my father that if we wanted to go straight to lunch, he could have someone put some change in the meter where our van was parked so that it would not time out. My father told Monson that that would not be necessary as we would be taking the painting/art piece back to the van before we went to eat.

We said goodbye to Monson and walked down the hall and the stairs the same way that we had entered; I can remember that Monson did not walk U.S. back down to the doors leading to the public area but rather simply said, “You know your way out.” We found the painting in the same spot where we had left it in the storage closet, and we left through the doors and stepped back out into the public area of the Church Administration Building. We then simply walked down the large grand stairs and left the building. I can remember walking down these stairs and being confused and overwhelmed by all of this as we exited the building and stepped back out onto the sidewalk outside. It was hot outside.

We began heading in the direction of the van so that we could put the painting inside of it while we went and ate and so that we could put some more change in the meter to buy some more time. My mother and little brother sat down in the shade near a water feature there on the Temple grounds and my father and I walked to the van. My father unlocked the van and I climbed in with the painting and put it down in the back for safe keeping. I also wanted to take off my shoes quickly and put on my sandals as it was so hot outside, and our meeting with Monson was over. My father also got into the van, and he closed the doors behind himself. He took the opportunity to hypnotize me there in the back of the van telling me that the things which we had discussed with Monson were sacred and that I was to Remember to Forget about these events. When he had finished with the hypnosis process my father then had me pull up my pant leg on my right side and he hit me in the thigh with a handheld taser; God I was fried. All of this really screwed me up and scrambled this memory. When I was conscious enough after this my father told me to finish putting on my sandals and to get out of the van when I was ready. He then got out of the van and put some change in the parking meter as I put my sandals on and took the shoes off. I was out of it and confused and it was so hot in the van; I felt terrible but got my sandals on and got out of the van. My father locked the van and we both walked back to where my mother and little brother were still waiting for U.S. in the shade.

We walked to the building that Monson had described to my father where the restaurant was located, which was not too far from where my mother was sitting, and we went inside and took the elevator to the top floor of the building. The restaurant was a nice and fancy place with lots of whites and blacks much like the Mormon theme presents. We were seated at a table near the windows, and I can remember looking out of the window at the Temple and Temple Square below. At this location we were higher than the Temple and I can remember looking down at the roof and the various cat walks and access doors on the roof. I can remember that for lunch that day I ordered a Hawaiian sandwich with a side of fries: this was a sandwich with a piece of grilled chicken topped with a slice of ham, swiss cheese, pineapple, and a barbeque sauce. It was a really good sandwich. After lunch we went back down to the van, and we left Salt Lake City and started our way back toward Idaho. I had a bad headache on the drive back to my parent’s house and I could not remember that I was engaged to Nicky Hilton or that I had met with one of the twelve apostles.

In the end I did not marry Nicky Hilton; I was never even allowed to remember that I was supposed to. I would rather at summers end move down to Sandy, Utah and Kate, my then girlfriend in Stanley would go to stay with one of her childhood friends in Boise, Idaho at the University there. I did not like the idea of being away from Kate and trying to have a long-distance relationship, so I invited her to come and live with me there in Sandy. A week after her arrival we would be engaged; one week after that we were married at her mother’s home in Gooding, Idaho. My marriage to Kate happened so fast that my family, Byrd and the CIA did not know what to do about it as it had come as a surprise to them all. Kate and I would leave Utah and I moved out of my brother’s place there in Sandy shortly before we got married. I did not serve an internship in the Church under the presidency at that time; I could not even remember that I was supposed to.

This is a Journaled Memory of the Author: J.R. Sweet

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